Funny Birthday Card Messages



Funny Birthday Card Messages are for you to choose, paraphrase and pass on for a laugh. Make the birthday go with a smile and it will be a good day!Theses are free for you to use for non commercial purpose.










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Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

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SEX IS LIKE MATHS
You SUBTRACT the clothes
ADD the bed
DIVIDE the legs
Then MULTIPLY!!!!

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Take life with a pinch of salt
A shot of tequila and a wedge of lime
Do nothing at all
But take your time

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Perhaps your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others

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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.
Groucho Marx

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
Phyllis Diller

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I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly

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Treat me like the angel I am, and I will show you what heaven is like

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If women are so bloody perfect at multi tasking, how come they can’t have a headache & have sex at the same time.
Billy Connolly

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Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some, like me,
Just don't have any film.

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Funny Birthday Card Messages